The world is so messed up. We are taught to stay strong and carry on. We are hushed when we talk about vulnerabilities, insecurities, and mental health issues. If you talk about being suicidal then you're automatically labeled as an "attention seeker"
The society we live in has never bothered to take suicide seriously. We don't make the effort to hold their hand, tell them that they'll be happy someday even though it might be hard to believe. We don't tell them that we need them. The world needs them.
So if you want to give up and leave everything behind, this is your sign. This is me telling you, don't leave.
The world needs you.
Your mom will miss her baby. Your dad loves you. Your friends will live with the grief that they couldn't understand you. Your lover will never be the same. Maybe he'll forget how to live happily.
Your neighbors will miss your greetings.
Most importantly, you will miss the happy days of your life.
You will miss the day of your graduation, the day when your mom makes your favorite dinner.
You will miss the chance of seeing your best friend get married. You won't get to explore the world.
I know it'll be difficult and overwhelming. You will feel like you're drowning and nobody's out there to save you. But you, you save yourself. You have the power to change your life. You deserve the best. Remind yourself of the people who love you. Remind yourself why you've come so far. Don't give up on yourself.
Go to therapy, talk to your therapist. The one where you feel safe and heard. Confide in your family or friends. Tell them as much as you'd like. Their support will help you recover soon. Join a support group, if your doctor advises takes medicines.